This week in my life....

This week has been a really tough one on me, both physically and emotionally. Sometimes when I have trials I question why they happen to me, or why I seem to feel so alone when they do. Then Brother Young said something in seminary (yeah, I know, good little church girl here) that really hit me. He said that sometimes when we go through rough times we expect the Lord to show his love for us in a certain way, and then when he does help and comfort us, we don't realize it because we're expecting this totally different thing to happen. I know that I don't expect to receive a vision or anything telling me it'll be ok, but sometimes I just get it into my mind that the Lord will answer my plea in a certain way, and then I feel even worse when it doesn't happen that way. Sometimes I even feel like giving up. This week was kind of like that. My diabetes freaked out on me during school, and I felt so sad because I didn't want to have everyone freaking out over me. I don't want to be the person that everyone worries about all the time, I'm more of the person who is more likely to be concerned for others. But thinking back over that day, I realize that what happened could've happened for multiple reasons. Maybe someone else had to learn something from that experience, but more likely I needed to. I got caught up in my own little world and failed to realize how wonderful my friends really are. Each of them (you!) are like gods already, you're always there for anyone who needs help or even just a shoulder to cry on. You guys are amazing! I'm so blessed to be here and to know all of you wonderful people. I don't even know if any of you will read this, but I just want you guys to know how much I love and appreciate you all. I know that how you helped me this past week, and how you always help me when things are tough, are part of the way that God shows he cares for me. Thank you for caring for me, and I hope I can be even half as good of a friend to you as you always are to me.

Pen on paper,

The words spill out on the page,

I'm helpless-

Helpless to stop them,

They scream the truth.

Pen on paper,

My thoughts wrestling in my mind,

Each needing to be the one written down,

Although almost all would hurt me,

Or hurt someone else.

Pen on paper,

My life is written out

In three simple words,

Spoken, or unspoken,

I know they're true.

Pen on paper,

I close my fist,

Sweep the pages to the side,

I tell myself that what I've written isn't right,

Maybe it was at one time,

But not anymore.

Things have changed.

But have they really?

Pen on paper,

I must find myself again,

Cling to the thoughts,

Those thoughts which kept me going for so long,

I can't think,

I must write.

Pen on paper,

Scratching across the surface,

Messily running through the lines,

My hand flying across the page

As I write this letter,

This truth I cannot deny,

Written by

Pen on paper.

I Swear I'm Perfectly Normal...

This semester I'm taking creative writing, and right now we're in our poetry unit. This was the last poem I wrote-- Tell me what you think about it! :)

Waves envelop me

As I wade into the water.

Colors, more than one would imagine

Swirl around me as I sink slowly.

Memories flash through my mind,

My first kiss,

My last argument,

Holding my baby sister in my arms.

I feel nothing anymore,

No pain, no joy,

Only emptiness,

As slowly, my world fades to black.