Who Am I?

This past year I've had some struggles with knowing who I am.

I never thought I'd have that kind of problem, yet I did.

I tried to be who YOU wanted me to be, someone who YOU would like.

It doesn't work that way.

I lost myself this year.

I justified what I was doing because of the popularity I was gaining.

People actually noticed my existence! And not just because they needed help on homework.

I finally felt like my opinion mattered to someone-that I mattered to someone.

And I thought you had the same feelings I did, the same beliefs on life.

Then when I found out, I acted like nothing was different-like it didn't bother me that you had changed.

I was changing too, I reasoned.

You either sink or swim in this world, sink or swim.

What I didn't know was that I was sinking.

I don't blame you for dragging me down, you didn't.

It was my pride that did it-my need for social acceptance.

You are who you are, and I know that I can't change that fact.

But then, I said something that shocked me.

Had I really changed that much, that I would agree to something like that?

Who was this person saying these words?!

Where had I gone?

For the next few weeks I hid in the dark corners of my mind.

What had I done?

The guilt was eating me.

I felt so wrong, so empty, so lost.

I don't really think that. That wasn't me.

If that wasn't me, then who am I?

It finally came to me. I am:

Marissa Farmer

Member of the

Church of Jesus

Christ of Latter-

Day Saints.

And I'm proud of it.

p.s. the title of this post makes me think of one of the greatest musicals of all time- Les Miserables, and this song. If you haven't heard the music from this musical, I strongly recommend it! It's a beautiful, powerful story.

My talk

Per Heidi's request, I have decided to post my talk.....and I don't know if you can attach things to this so I'll just type it in. It's probably not very good since I wrote it myself...but here it is:

My Talk

I was asked to speak on family. Family is the most sacred unit of the church. But a happy family life isn't that easy to achieve. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that: "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

Families are essential to God's plan, so we need to work hard to achieve the happiness needed to bring the Holy Ghost into our homes. No person or family is perfect, and jsut like our individual problems, each family faces different trials. Some face great financial debts, others the loss of a loved one, and some face illnesses within the family. It is not easy to see a loved one die or struggle; but we don't have to let that ruin our family relationships. Instead, let the trials you and your family face be a building block for your family. Use your hard times as times to get to know and love your family better.

Heavenly Father sent us here to Earth to be tested, and he wants us to come live with him again and become a spiritual family. We need our earthly family's help to do so. Each of us must pitch in and do our share of the work. The family is not complete if everyone but one or two family members pitches in. Everyone must try their hardest for a strong and happy family, because the family is so important to this church.

Take a rope, for instance. One of the strands that makes up the rope is very easy to break. But when you put all the strands together, it becomes a lot harder to break. Strong families are like strong ropes. Without our family's and others support, we could not possibly survive in this dangerous world. This world is full of so much profanity, pornography, and abuse that without good, strong families we would fall prey to the evils of the world. I am very grateful to my family for teaching me the good gospel principles. I know I will value this knowledge later on in my life.

We are all imperfect, but I, for one, will try to strengthen my family and live the gospel principles so that I can return to live with Heavenly Father and the rest of my Heavenly family.